He wasn’t really one for relationships, even simple friendships managed to confuse him. If one needed an example all they would have to do is look at how he acted around that Italian.
No, Ludwig Beilschmidt wasn’t really one for relationships, no matter how uninvolved they were. He didn’t easily converse with people, and more often than not he would rather remain alone so that he wouldn’t be bothered by having to look out for anyone. At least, that is what he often told himself when he had time to think or whenever he felt the need to mutter a small complaint under his breath. However, this wasn’t exactly true.
It had all started with his strange friendship with Feliciano. That excuse of a friendship had made Ludwig aware of just how alone he could be. That feeling was eventually intensified, and that was because a new relationship had bloomed in Ludwig’s life. This relationship managed to confuse him even more.
It had been you. You with your (h/l) (h/c) hair that framed your face in such a way that caused him to somehow care for you. Or even your eyes. Those deep (e/c) irises of yours always managed to draw him in and even distract him to an extent if he was in a rare frame of mind. Anyone who knew Ludwig knew that he was not the sort of man to get easily distracted, but with a simple smile of acknowledgement from you, you managed to make his mind work almost as fast as his heart.
Am I presentable? Should I smile back? Maybe she wants to talk to me... Should I go over to her, or would that be too forward of me?
Your simple presence managed to make him on edge, but still... you made him so much less lonely at the same time, and at times he could even begin to recognize traces of happiness.
It was because of these feelings that Ludwig often found himself going out to different places with you. Not quite knowing what to call these outings, he just referred to them in his mind as simple encounters. He wouldn’t want to call them dates by any means, that only resulted in making the relationship he had with you only more complicated. Even so, Ludwig had managed to get himself into yet another one of these... whatever you may prefer to call it, perhaps a situation, with you.
You stood right beside him, your hand dangerously close to his as you talked. Once you began talking you always managed to, with ease, jump from one subject to another, giving Ludwig something to listen to. Often times he even found some chance to interject, and this comment always managed to start off a conversation that you both always seemed to enjoy partaking in. Today was different though. Today Ludwig was more quiet than he usually was around you, and at the realization you felt worry begin to settle in the pit of your stomach, much like concrete. had he gotten tired of you? Maybe your constant chatter had somehow angered him...
You quite suddenly halted in both your speech as well as your steps, looking wide-eyed towards Ludwig.
“Ludwig...” Your voice was softer than it usually was, and that fact alone made your partner snap out of a daydream that had, embarrassingly enough for him, included you. Those had been occurring more and more lately...
Turning on his heel to face you, something of an air of annoyance surround him, he raised one of his eyebrows slowly. “Is somezhing zhe matter?”
You opened your mouth only to close it again and then looked down at your feet, pointing both of your feet so that the tops of your shoes could touch. You tried to sort out the words in your mind, not wanting to be too clingy or sound desperate by any means.
“(y/n)?” You heard Ludwig press.
You sighed, looking back up after a moment only to find yourself caught in the powerful, sky blue gaze of him. Your heart immediately began to hammer against your chest.
“Are you hurt?” Those eyes suddenly darted about your body, worry creasing the German’s brow.
“No. No, of course I’m not.” You tried to assure him, shaking your head and tousling your hair in the process.
Ludwig let a small ‘humph’ leave his lips, nodding sternly. “Vell zhen tell me vhat is troubling you.” Crossing his arms across his muscular chest, he took on his rather regular stern face, making those eyes again pierce through you.
You looked away, not sure that you could talk that well if he was going to look at you so seriously. This whole conversation sounded as if it was going to be so much easier in your mind... damn.
“I guess I was just worried... That I was making you mad or something.” You rolled your eyes at how ridiculous you sounded, even to yourself, but once you started on this subject you couldn’t help but continue on it. You didn’t want this worry to float around in your head for who knows how long. “And you are just a nice guy, and I don’t want you to leave because I’ve done something stupid so I wish you would just tell me if there is something I’m doing wrong.” As you spoke you could hear the speed at which you said the words slowly increase. When you finally finished your small speech you clasped your hands together and let a small sigh out, still refusing to look into your friend’s eyes.
You soon found that you didn’t have to look up to find his reaction, though. You felt your hands slowly be pulled apart so one of them could be held in a much larger, calloused hand and you felt a pair of soft lips quickly graze your cheek.
Your head shot up, eyes wide, to find Ludwig standing in front of you, a light pink dusting his cheeks. His eyes were turned to the side, not looking at you as he spoke in a murmur.
“You don’t have to vorry about zhat. I’m not going to get tired of you...”
He was obviously embarrassed, but you couldn’t help but let a small smile grace your lips as you immediately brightened. You scanned his figure, taking in the whole moment, wanting to remember this for quite some time. His slicked back blonde hair shone slightly in the sunlight and his uniform was pressed as usual. The blush... His eyes...
You let a small laugh pass through your lips before nodding and darting on forward, ready to resume your walk with your German, but you refused to let go of his hand. You whipped your head back, still smiling.
“Well come on then! I want to get our walk in!” Again you pulled on his hand, watching as his blush receded slightly.
“Ja... Of course.” Ludwig eventually spoke, again beginning to walk with you, not any less willing to let go of your hand as you were of his. It was a nice feeling, he had decided, to be at least somewhat close with someone.
No, Ludwig Beilschmidt wasn’t really one for relationships, no matter how uninvolved they were, but he believed that he was getting better.